My name is
As a little girl, my daddy could do no wrong in my eyes. His very presence was bigger than life. Though rare, or mostly hidden under a blanket recovering from a hangover, there were those few but unforgettable sober moments where he made me feel like the apple of his eye. So simple, but oh the sound of his voice when he called out my name.
Somewhere along the line ‘love’ became warped for a man who I later found out lost both his parents when he was around 10. It wasn’t until many years later that I realized normal families didn’t allow the mistress(es) to join in on family outings, or where wife beatings were accepted. Dad didn’t try to hide too much, this was his idea of being ‘honest’.
Mom was the tiniest yet feistiest one out of her traditionally East Indian family. Abuse was highly accepted in this culture. But when I was around 9, she finally stood up against her own family and people and divorced my dad. ‘Our people’ turned against us, even crossing the street when they saw us coming.
I was a ticking time bomb that finally exploded in my teen years. Smoking at 14, shoplifting, deliberately flunking at school. Then came the bad boys, they were familiar, so was the physical abuse. By 17 I moved in with a drug addict, who soon got arrested and jailed.
Then another ‘opportunity’ to move in with my next abuser. This one took 2 yrs to escape from. .it was the cruelest, but it was the last. At 19, I finally agreed to my mother’s pleas to leave my beloved England for a better life. For I truly believe I wouldn’t have survived that last abusive relationship.
Canada was just waiting with life changing opportunities. Within 6 months I got my first real job. Where I met the most precious Jesus loving lady. Who fed my stomach with good food but most of all fed my spirit with the good news.
Jesus loved broken women like me? Jesus could take my crushed spirit and my bruised heart and give me a new one? For the first time ever I experienced true love from the inside out, ‘living waters’ gushed through me. This love brought me to my knees in total surrender to the Lover of my soul.
Today, I live a life where the chains of abuse have been broken. I have been blessed with a husband who knows my past and that’s exactly where he leaves it…in the past. After 24 yrs of marriage, 3 children and one son in law, I continue to be overwhelmed by a God who longs to shelter us under His ‘wings’ so that He can mend our broken ones.
He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armour and protection.